It's the end of the year and Cory wants to get his yearbook signed by everyone who passes by, but they all silently ignore his advances. Need I remind you, this is the guy who won Prom King a few episodes ago, and now nobody will give him the time of day. You might almost suggest that Cory winning Prom King was total fucking nonsense. Almost.
Doesn't matter though, because this just became one of the best episodes in the season. It's FRANKIE AND JOEYYYYYY. Last time we saw Joey was in the marathon billiards match, all the way back in season 3. We saw Frankie a few more times after that, last of which was Turkey Day in season 4. But they're back for their final final appearance now, asking Cory and Shawn to sign their (stolen) yearbooks. They're definitely a few years older than Cory and Shawn, but Cory makes a point of saying that it took the thugs eight years to get through high school. I barely recognized Joey at first.
So yeah, this is just a fun way to give our favorite thugs a proper sendoff. Love it, A+, don't really need to see any more, but let's keep going.
Okay I'm glad we kept going. IT'S MINKUS O'CLOCK, my favorite time of the day. He says that for the "last four years" it hasn't felt like he's been at the school. So we've got re-confirmation that seasons 2 through 5 were four years, and not the five years it would take to go from beginning of 8th grade to end of 12th grade.
That shit don't matter tho.
Cuz it's fuckin Minkus.
Our favorite nerd explains that he's been "over there" the whole time, pointing toward the studio audience. Cory explains "We don't go over there," and Shawn continues that you may never come back if you do go over there.
Hey look, Minkus is holding his notebooks in that way all the girls hold their notebooks.
You see that!? THEY'RE BRINGIN BACK CHARACTERS FROM OLD SEASONS
SO I BROUGHT BACK COMMENTARY FROM OLD SEASONS
FUCKIN AMAZING BEST BLOG EVERRRRRRRRR
I'd like to know why they couldn't get Turner for a reappearance. He was a much more significant character than Minkus or the thugs, I'd definitely like to see him again.
Shawn doesn't really care about signing Cory's yearbook, and he also thinks the class rings that Topanga and Cory are so excited about are stupid and meaningless. And hey, I agree with you Shawny boy. I always wrote "See you tomorrow" in my friends' yearbooks. But I guess it's a lot different now with Facebook and everything. Anyway yeah, Shawn is the Grinch of the last week of school. Topanga tells her boyfriend that she's going to Pennbrook over Yale, but he insists she read the "information I got off the internet last night" on Yale before she makes her decision. ...Cory knows how to use the internet? Should I be as surprised as I am?
Shawn calls out his best friend on faking his supportiveness for Topanga. Real Grinchy Grinch behavior here today.
In class, Feeny gives everyone an optional assignment to write about "what's in your heart during this last week of school." Feeny makes it very clear that he wants Shawn to do the assignment, and perhaps he's created this assignment solely to hear from Shawn.
Topanga literally threatens Mister Feeny into giving her an A, since she has "699 As" and wants 700. Afraid for his life, the old man complies. As usual, we, the viewer, don't care.
Shawn returns to The Apartment to find some sort of celebration set up by Jack to congratulate Shawn on graduating. It's odd, since Shawn isn't actually graduating for another two days. Either way, the gesture isn't well received by the angstier Hunter boy, so the two end up wrestling and arguing like always. Shawn is being a real jackass today. Jack went to a lot of trouble here!
Eric emerges from his bedroom clad in spy gear, heading off to stop Mr. Feeny from retiring. This man truly is the Master of Shenanigans.
Aaand that's the last interaction between the Hunter boys. Their problem remains unresolved, so that was pointless. Honestly, this is exactly where they started at the beginning of the season. That's uh... That's an interesting writing choice. Back at school, Cory's let loose a few chickens in the hallway as a senior prank. The joke is that no one cares about the chickens, not even Feeny, but Cory thinks it's the greatest prank of all time. It's cute. I like the way Cory keeps yelling "chickens!" More importantly though, we have another meeting between Feeny and Shawn. Feeny urges Shawn to work on the assignment, but Shawn still doesn't want to since it's not required.
Feeny: "What you end up doing, Mister Hunter, is up to you, always has been. I'm just here to point out what page we're on."
I really appreciate that line, it really reflects everything Feeny's been about in this series. It resonates with what I've been talking about in If You Can't Be and Prom-ises, where the characters aren't following orders or rules, they make the decisions for themselves. And that's always been Feeny's philosophy, to point out what page we're on, to give everyone the information they need to make their own decisions and choices.
Topanga shows up and asks they boys if they want to hear her valedictorian speech. Shaking his head, Shawn walks away without saying anything at all. I'm going to have to agree with Shawn here. Minkus reappears off to the side, and challenges Topanga's claim to valedictorian. Unfortunately for our favorite nerd, the A that Topanga extorted out of Feeny brought her to victory. You'll recall that Topinkus argue about this same grade crap in episode 7 of GMW. It was pretty forced and nonsensical, and most importantly anyone who didn't see this episode of BMW wouldn't understand what was going on.
Once again, Cory encourages his girlfriend to go to Yale, but she's still not sure so she goes to Feeny's office that evening for advice. It's really difficult to get invested in this when you already know what happens. Or maybe it's just that we're all wishing for Topanga to go to Yale. I just don't care about her struggle, I really don't. Eric saves us from the monotony though, by grappling-hook-ing his way in through Feeny's window, but Feeny just yells at him to get out.
The tune of "Good Lookin Guy" from 4x02 plays while Eric is climbing (and ultimately falling) out the window, which is a beautiful flourish on the end of an already hysterical bit.
There's a touching scene up next when our three heroes stay after class to talk to Feeny. They ask if all their antics have driven him to retiring, but it turns out to be quite the opposite. Watching the three of them grow has given him enough gratification to close out his career with total satisfaction. Very touching.
Feeny: "Sometimes the things you complain most about... are the things you care most about."
These words leave Shawn thinking about the thing he complains most about, which is school. Tie that in with the optional paper about what school means to him, and we're set up for an epic conclusion.
We're at the graduation ceremony now, and it's time for the valedictorian speech. Topanga defers to "somebody who could give a much better speech than I ever could." This is, of course, Shawn. The point of his speech is that he dicked around too much in school and now... he really wishes that he hadn't.
Shawn: "I'm sorry... I coulda done better."
And The Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.
Feeny, giving Shawn a handshake, "It was a fine paper. No one could have done better."
Eric jumps up out of the graduating students to stop the proceedings, trying to delay Feeny's impending retirement. He grabs the microphone and starts singing To Sir With Love by Lulu, directed at Feeny. It's funny at first, but it drags on wayyyyy too long. What's worse though is that it completely undermines the ending from the last episode. We saw that moment of seriousness between mentor and student, but now Eric is just acting like an idiot. I really wish this hadn't happened, and they'd just let the end of 5x23 be this season's last scene with Eric and Feeny. Especially since this contributes nothing to anything. He just keeps singing and eventually it cuts to Feeny reading off the names of the students to come get their diplomas. Again, it is funny, but it's still not worth it.
Our heroes give Minkus a big hug after his name is called, which, in my opinion, was absolutely necessary. A very, very sweet gesture from the writers to include this in the memory of our season 1 pal.
Last but not least, Topanga proposes to Cory right there during the name-calling ceremony. Cory is left speechless and it's just that fun guitar music during the credits. I didn't ask for this. Why.
Plot: 0.5 - It's a lot of fluff. Lots of wrapping-up going on, and the scenes with Minkus and the thugs were just fanservice. Appreciated, certainly, but still fanservice. Shawn's little story with the paper is where the points are coming from. Shame they didn't address whether or not Shawn's going to college in this episode. They really teased that in the previous episode and it never came up here.
Character Development: 1.0 - "I coulda done better" and Topanga proposed.
Humor: 1.0 - Eric's spy gear bit was fantastic, so was Cory and his chickens. Topanga was thoroughly anti-funny, but whatever.
Life Lesson: 1.0 - "I coulda done better" either hits you really hard or doesn't mean anything. It hit me really hard when I first saw this, and this is my blog, so I'm giving the point.
3.5 out of 4.0. At the end of the day, watching this episode is just necessary. We have a sendoff for Frankie, Joey, and Minkus, Topanga proposes, Shawn does his thing, it's all very important. It's not amazing, but it's fun and it's important. I think that's all I've got to say.
Thanks everybody for sticking with me through another season. It's dark days ahead, my friends, very dark. But maybe something will surprise me. I'm gonna take my end-of-season break next week, but for Friday I'm planning to review that stupid Trojan War movie with Friedle and JLH. It'll be my first time watching it, and it's only 80 minutes, so it should be fun. I hope. Maybe. See you then!
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